Five Stages
by ctoan
Summary: Ryan and Seth go to their graduation bonfire
1. Denial

This is a follow-up to Graduation. 

_"Did Ryan really tell his mother he didn't want to hear from her anymore?" Kirsten still couldn't believe that this is what transpired between Ryan and his mother. "He seemed so…happy today."_

_Sandy rubbed her arm. "He did seem comfortable with his decision. I think he meant it, but I worry it's going to hit him later what he really did._"

This is where it hits him.

PART ONE: DENIAL 

Seth pulled into the beach parking lot and pointed to all the cars. "See, Summer? We're not the first to arrive."

Summer pouted. "Just because we're not the first to arrive, doesn't mean we're not early."

They got out of the car and Ryan went to the back to get the blankets they brought. As they walked down the path toward the beach, Seth put his arm around Summer. "I told you. Once Ryan convinced the parental units that we should be allowed to stay out all night, we had to get out before they changed their minds. I thought early was better than not at all. Right, Ry?"

Ryan shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't sure he wanted to stay out all night in the first place, but he knew Seth was looking forward to the graduation bonfire. As they got to the beach, they saw a bunch of kids getting everything set up. Ryan handed the blankets to Seth and went over to where some guys from the soccer team were moving driftwood logs.

"Hey, Ryan!" Mike said. "You're just in time to help us move these closer to the fire for people to sit on."

Ryan picked up the other end of the log Mike was holding, and Jeff came behind, carrying a smaller log himself. Once they had the logs where they wanted them, Mike slapped Ryan on the back. "Your speech today. That was cool."

Ryan was embarrassed. "Thanks, man. I wasn't going to do it, but…"

"Yeah, but parents eat that type of thing up," Jeff said. Mike elbowed him and looked at him pointedly, trying to tell him to shut up.

Ryan smirked at Jeff's lack of awareness. "Yeah, the Cohens were pretty happy about it."

Jeff finally clued in to what Mike was trying to tell him. "Oh, man, I didn't mean…"

Ryan thought back to his conversation with his mother that afternoon. He shook his head and smiled at Jeff. "No, it's OK. They're like my parents, I guess."

Mike shook his head at Jeff's ability to stick his foot in his mouth at every possible chance. "All right. There's a cooler over there full of beer. It's time to get this party started."

Ryan reached into the cooler and snagged a beer for himself and one for Seth. He found Seth with Summer, talking to Emily and Sarah. He looked bored out of his mind. Ryan caught his eye and gestured one of the beers towards Seth. A wave of relief washed over Seth's face, as he excused himself from Summer and joined Ryan.

"Thank you, man. That Emily Johnson just never shuts up."

Ryan tried not to laugh at that statement, but didn't do a very good job.

"No, seriously, I know I talk a lot. But she? Talks more. And it's not that I don't care who looked hippy in the gown today, or whose dress was 'so last year'." Seth made air quotes as he talked.

Ryan smiled. "It's that you don't care."

"Exactly! You understand me so well. Oh, hey, you want to take the keys tonight? I mean, you usually don't drink a lot at these things, and not that I'm planning on drinking a lot, but if you have two beers and I have two beers … well, let's just say that your tolerance is way higher than mine."

Ryan held out his hand. "Give them to me. But that means I get to decide when we're leaving. Deal?"

"Deal." Seth looked past Ryan and broke into a grin. "Hey, what's he doing here?"

Ryan turned around and saw Luke carrying a cooler onto the beach. Mike walked over to him. "Hey man, you made it!"

Summer came over to drag Seth away again, so Ryan sat on a driftwood log, drinking his beer and staring at the fire. He felt someone sit beside him. "You haven't changed much. Still sitting by yourself, brooding. Have you not made any friends since I left?"

Ryan looked over to see Luke, grinning at him like an idiot. "Good to see you, man. What are you doing here?"

"I graduated last week and once again I'm spending the summer with my mom. I saw Mike this afternoon and he told me about the party."

"Glad you came. You were there today?" Ryan found the ceremony boring himself, and he had to be there. He couldn't believe someone would voluntarily attend.

"Yeah. Nice speech, by the way. I'm surprised you're even talking tonight. I thought you used up your weekly word quota this afternoon."

"Yeah, well, I didn't talk all last week. I was saving up for today." They grinned at each other.

"Was that your mom I saw today?"

"Yeah. You saw her?"

"Yeah. I was sitting at the back and I saw her slip in just as Dr Kim introduced you. I thought I recognized her, but I wasn't sure..."

"Yeah, it was her." Ryan couldn't believe that Luke would remember what she looked like, since he only saw her that once.

"That's kind of cool, isn't it? That she showed up?"

Cool wasn't exactly the word Ryan would use to describe his visit with his mother that afternoon. "Not exactly."

Luke looked at him questioningly.

"We had words later. I basically told her to stay out of my life for good."

"That's rough, man. I'm sorry."

Ryan didn't need anyone feeling sorry for him. "Nah, it's all right. It's for the best. I mean, it's not like I've seen lots of her in the past couple of years. It's not really going to change anything."

Luke reached into his cooler and pulled out a bottle that looked like pop.

"You're not drinking beer?"

"I was in the mood for something a bit stronger than beer tonight so I mixed a bunch of rum and coke. I got lots. You want some?"

Ryan thought something stronger sounded good right about now. "Sure."

"Help yourself. The cooler's full."

TBC


	2. Bargaining

This part is dedicated to elzed. Just remember - baby steps!

PART TWO: BARGAINING

Seth and Summer came back from a walk along the beach. They saw Ryan hanging with Luke and his friends from the soccer team. They were laughing at something, and Ryan stumbled toward Luke, who pushed him back upright. They both overcompensated and fell to the sand, rolling on their backs, still laughing.

Summer laughed. "Is Ryan drunk? It's funny – I don't remember seeing him drunk before."

Seth wasn't laughing. "I doubt you have. He doesn't like to get drunk."

"Come off it, Seth. He always drinks at parties."

"He always nurses a beer or two for the evening. He doesn't like to get drunk. He told me once he didn't like what it did to people – you know, his dad, his mom, Marissa…"

"So you're saying he's never been drunk?"

"Oh no, he's been drunk. Just … not in a while."

Seth made his way over to where Ryan was still lying down. He held out his hand to help him up. Once upright, Ryan put his arm around Seth and patted him on the chest. "He's a good guy, right here. Whoo for Seth!"

Luke, Mike, and Jeff joined in. "Whoo!"

Seth just tried to ignore them all. "Is everything OK, Ryan?"

"Everything's great, Seth." Ryan grinned at him goofily. "I love you, man."

He knew Ryan must be really drunk to be saying something like that out loud. "That's great. Give me the keys, please."

"What?"

"You're drunk and you have the keys. I don't think you'll be driving tonight, buddy."

"Does this mean I don't get to decide when we leave?"

* * *

Ryan wandered away from Seth and the other guys. He sat down on a blanket and then noticed Emily Johnson teetering toward him. He didn't really know Emily, but he knew of her. She ran in Summer's crowd, and he'd seen her at parties, but he'd never talked to her before. Or more accurately, she'd never talked to him before. So he was surprised when she sat down beside him.

"So that was a nice speech you gave today."

Ryan looked at her warily. "Thanks."

"I expected to be asked to give it, you know." Ryan looked at her and saw silent tears running down her face. "I was never any good at sports, I was never elected anything, I'm not the most popular or the prettiest or the smartest. But I worked hard and I always did everything the teachers asked. I did everything I could to make them remember me when it came time to pick salutatorian."

Ryan didn't know what to say, so he put his arm around her to comfort her.

"And I was mad when I heard it was you. What had you done to deserve it? It wasn't fair."

"Well, if it helps you any, I don't know why they picked me either."

"Oh, but your speech was good. It sounds like your life was crappy before you came to Newport and…"

"It wasn't that crappy." Even though he knew how bad his life was before, he didn't like other people thinking about how bad it actually was.

"But you said you had no hope. No hope sounds pretty crappy. And then the Cohens took you in, and you did really well at Harbor. That deserves recognition more than just not being the most popular, or the smartest, or the prettiest."

Ryan really didn't want to be talking about how crappy his life and his mother were, so he leaned closer and kissed her. "I think you're pretty."

She giggled as she kissed him back. "I didn't think you ever noticed me. You always kept to yourself."

He smiled as he leaned her back. "I'm shy."

Ryan didn't know Emily that well, so he wasn't sure how far she would let him go. But he figured the only way to find out was to try. He slid his hand up from her waist, over her shirt, to her breast. She seemed to enjoy it and didn't push his hand away. He moved his hand to her back, up under her shirt as his mouth moved to her neck.

"Wow, you're a good kisser." Emily giggled some more. "Most guys get sloppy when they're drinking."

Most guys? He thought that sounded promising. He moved back to her mouth and slid his tongue in to distract her as his hand moved up under her bra. He thought things were going well as he ran his thumb over her nipple.

"Whoa." She realized what he was doing and pushed his hand away. "Uh uh." She sat up and reached behind her back to reattach her bra. "I didn't even notice you doing that." She grinned at him. "You're smooth."

He rolled onto his back. "Not smooth enough," he muttered to himself.

She giggled again as she leaned over and kissed him. "You're cute, too. You should call me sometime. Summer has my number."

Ryan watched her walk away and then went off in search of Luke.

* * *

Summer watched Seth watching Ryan. "He's fine, Seth."

"He was just making out with Emily Johnson. That doesn't sound fine to me."

"He's just having fun. Like we should be?"

"Does he even know Emily Johnson?" Seth shook his head. "Something's wrong. He's acting different."

She turned his face towards her. "He's drunk, Seth. That's it. People act different when they're drunk. More relaxed." She smiled and started to kiss him. "It won't hurt Ryan to be more relaxed."

Seth relaxed into Summer's kisses. "I guess you're right."

She pushed him back onto the sand. "I know I am."

TBC


	3. Anger

A/N: First, I always forget to make my disclaimers. I don't own these characters (except for Mike and Jeff, but someone has to give Ryan friends). They are owned by Josh, and McG, and bunch of other people who aren't me.

Second, I can't believe I forgot to say this two chapters ago, and one chapter ago. But I'm saying it now. A huge, huge thank you goes to storymom. She's not just a beta. She's a hand holder, an ego stroker, a jelly bean smuggler. This story was a huge pile of crap when I first sent it to her. She has helped make it less so.

PART THREE: ANGER

Ryan found Luke with Mike and Jeff. They were arguing over whether they could have made it to State Championships if Luke had played with them this year.

"I'm just saying, we went State this year and you guys didn't. The difference? Me, of course."

Mike laughed. "You went State in, like, Oregon. You've got what? Like, four high schools in all of Oregon? Anyone could go State there."

"Very funny. Oregon has a lot of good soccer teams. It was really competitive."

"Well, then how do you explain that we came last in the division last year when you did play for us?"

Jeff tried to jump in and help Luke. "Luke didn't play the last couple of games last year though. Remember? Everyone found out his dad was gay and he quit the team after everyone gave him a hard time."

Mike shook his head at Jeff. "Could you be any stupider?"

Jeff was genuinely confused. "What?"

Luke noticed Ryan then. "Hey man," he said with a big grin on his face. "When did you start wearing lip gloss?"

Ryan ran the back of his hand across his mouth. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on. Who was it?" Mike put his arm around Ryan's shoulders. "You can tell us. We're all friends here."

Ryan shrugged Mike's arm away. "It was no one. None of your business."

"But Ryan," Jeff said. "You've had such a dry spell since Marissa. Share."

"Will you ever learn to shut up?" Mike pushed Jeff good-naturedly, who tripped and bumped into Ryan.

"Watch it." Ryan shook the spilled drink off his hand.

"Sorry, man." Jeff and Mike laughed.

"Nitwits."

Luke put his arm around Ryan's shoulders. "Chill, man. They're just having fun."

He shrugged the arm away. "Stop touching me. And don't tell me to chill. Those idiots spilled my drink all over me."

"Aw, poor baby." Jeff laughed. "Why don't you run home to your Mommy? She can help you clean up."

Ryan dropped his drink and squared off to Jeff. "You think that's funny?"

Jeff was still laughing. "Relax, man. What'd I say?"

"Just shut your mouth, for once, if you're not going to think before you talk." Mike reached to pull Jeff away.

Luke was trying to talk Ryan down. "He doesn't mean it. You know that. Come on." He grabbed Ryan's arm. "Let's get you another drink."

He shook Luke's arm away, glared at Jeff, and turned to walk away.

"Geez, Atwood. Didn't you learn to take a joke in Chino?"

Mike couldn't believe it. But before he could say anything, Ryan had turned quickly, ducked his head, and plowed his shoulder into Jeff's midsection, knocking them both to the ground. He heard Luke's "Aw, shit, Ryan" as he tried to pull him off of Jeff.

Once Luke got Ryan away from him, Jeff stood up, wiping the blood off his lip where Ryan connected. He looked over at where Luke was sitting on Ryan, pinning his arms down. "What's your problem, Atwood?"

Mike pulled Jeff in the opposite direction. "Just let it go, Jeff."

Luke looked down at Ryan, who was still struggling. "He's gone now. Are you gonna settle down?"

Ryan just glared at Luke but stopped struggling. Luke got off Ryan slowly, and they both stood up.

"What was that? He was just goofing around."

"I didn't think it was funny."

"Obviously. It usually takes more than that to set you off."

"So you think you know me now?"

Luke could see Ryan's arms tensing as he faced him. He recognized the tightening of his jaw and the narrowing of his eyes. "What? You want to fight me now, too?" Luke opened his arms wide. "Come on then. I always loved kicking your ass."

Seth came running up. "What going on here? Ryan? Luke?"

"Stay out of this, Seth." Luke spoke to him without taking his eyes off Ryan. "I've got it under control."

"Got what under control? Jeff's over there complaining to everyone how Ryan just flipped out and attacked him.

"He hit me first."

"What's going on with you? You're drunk, you were making out with Emily, you're fighting with Jeff and Luke. I thought today was a good day."

"Yeah, Seth, it was a great day. I graduated with honours, I gave a speech thanking your parents for saving me, I told my mother to get out of my life after she called me ungrateful…"

Seth walked toward him. "Look, man. I'm sorry about your mom…"

"Stop it! You know nothing about my mom." He pushed Seth away, who lost his footing and fell down on the sand. "Just leave me alone!"

Ryan took off down the beach into the dark.

TBC


	4. Despair

PART FOUR: DESPAIR 

Luke, Summer and Seth watched Ryan disappear into the night.

"Wow, he's really messed up."

"Understatement of the year, Luke."

Summer looked at Luke and Seth. "We'd better go find him – make sure he doesn't wander into the water."

"I've got some flashlights in my truck. I'll go get them." Luke ran up to the parking lot, leaving Seth and Summer to wait for him.

"He said he was fine with everything." Seth looked at Summer for confirmation. "After he talked to his mom? He said he felt better than he had since she first left him."

"Obviously, he was lying."

Once Luke got back, they walked down the beach, swinging their beams of light back and forth, until Summer spotted a huddled form near the dunes. He looked like he was passed out, but then Luke thought he was convulsing and got freaked out. Summer was surprised at the stupidity of boys and explained that it looked like he was crying.

Seth was adamant. "Ryan wouldn't cry."

"Ryan is beyond drunk, he's upset enough that he pushed you. Ryan may not cry, but drunk Ryan obviously does."

Since Seth and Luke didn't know what to do next, Summer went over to try to talk to Ryan. She figured the best thing would be to get Ryan home. The problem with that plan was that Ryan was too drunk and upset to listen to her. So she put her arm around him and tried to get him to calm down first.

She couldn't understand all that he was saying. He wasn't really talking in sentences. She couldn't believe someone could cry for as long as he was crying. She thought it was probably two years of anger and frustration at his mother finally manifesting itself. Because this was about his mother. That much she could make out. How she had abandoned him first and he only did what he did because she had made her choice first and it wasn't his fault she was selfish, and needy, and alcoholic – so why did he feel guilty for doing what she did first?

At some point, she noticed she wasn't as cold anymore and she realized Seth and Luke must have gone back to the bonfire to get blankets. Ryan was finally calming down and falling asleep. She looked over to where Seth and Luke had fallen asleep on blankets beside them. She woke them up and told them they should get Ryan back to the house now.

Seth expressed his worries about bringing an obviously passed out Ryan back to the house, but Summer insisted that she wasn't going to sleep on the beach waiting for Ryan to wake up.

Luke shook Ryan's shoulder. "Come on, man. Wake up. We've got to get you to the car."

Ryan pushed Luke's hand away and mumbled something that sounded like "Leave me alone."

Luke gestured to Seth. "Help me get him up." The two boys grabbed Ryan on either side and slipped their heads under his arms. Summer picked up the blankets and led the way down the beach.

Seth was struggling in the sand. "Move your feet, Ryan. You know I'm not into the heavy lifting. You are so going to owe me tomorrow."

"I owe you for everything else. What's one more thing?"

Summer jumped in. "Ryan, you don't owe Cohen for anything." She turned to Seth. "If you get him started again, so help me, I will hurt you bad. Get him to the car and quit your complaining."

Luke was trying to walk too fast, Ryan wasn't trying to walk at all, and Seth was doing all he could to keep up. He tripped and fell, leaving Luke trying to keep Ryan upright. "Damn, Cohen, can you help at all?"

Summer ran back to help Luke hold Ryan up as Seth lay in the sand. "Seth, get up."

"Why does he get to be carried? I'm tired too."

Summer was getting tired of dealing with drunks. "You can either get up and help us get him home, or I'll leave your sorry ass here on the beach and you can walk home."

"I'm getting up; I'm getting up." He got up and put Ryan's arm back over his shoulders. "OK, Ryan. You've got to work with me, or we'll both be sleeping on the beach tonight. And while I realize you might think that's not a bad idea right now, I guarantee you won't be thinking that in the morning. So pick up your feet and help me get you to the car."

To Summer's relief, Ryan started moving his legs and supporting himself, Seth started carrying more weight, and Luke slowed down so Seth could keep up. They finally made to the car and got Ryan into the backseat.

When they got to the Cohen house, Seth and Luke half dragged him around back towards the pool house. They were just about to the door and Seth was breathing a sigh of relief that they made it without his parents seeing Ryan, when the light from their bedroom flooded out onto the pool.

"Hey! You boys came home early." Seth turned to see his robe-clad dad walking towards him.

"Yeah. Ryan was feeling pretty tired, so we decided to call it a night."

"I see. Why don't you put him into bed then, and then come out and tell me about your night?"

"I'm kinda tired too. I was just gonna go straight to bed…"

Sandy raised his eyebrows at Seth. "It's 3 am now. What's half an hour going to hurt?"

TBC


	5. Acceptance

Thanks, everyone, for reading and reviewing. Bonus points to Gibasi for knowing what chapter was coming next, and extra credit marks to famous99 for doing research to figure out the next chapter. Much thanks to Maud for her advice and smc36 for everything. I don't work for Fox - as a result, I don't own anything.

* * *

PART 5: ACCEPTANCE

Ryan woke up with a splitting headache and his tongue felt like it was covered in a sock and stuck to the roof of his mouth. He would kill for a glass of water, if he thought he could keep it down. But the thought of raising his head off the pillow was more than he could stand.

Suddenly, the room got significantly brighter. He tried to crack an eye open to see who opened the door, but his eyes felt swollen. He settled for groaning and rolling over away from the door, pulling the blanket over his head.

"Good morning!" Sandy was talking way too loudly.

Ryan tried to say something, but all that came out was a moan.

"How was the party last night? Lots of fun, I hear?" Sandy plopped down on the bed beside Ryan, the movement driving a knife through his skull.

Ryan wondered if he'd already heard about it, why was he in here asking? He rolled back over and tried to open his eyes again. He succeeded in opening them a crack. "Yeah, great," he managed to force out.

Sandy held out a big glass of water and two Tylenol. Ryan looked longingly at the glass of water but he didn't know if he could actually make himself vertical to drink it. Sandy set the glass of water down and pulled a bendy straw from his pocket. "That bad, huh?"

He held the glass and Ryan took a big sip of water. "Whoa, slow down. Not too much at once. You don't look like you're in any shape to run to the bathroom." He held out the Tylenol, and Ryan swallowed them with a bit more water. "I'll just leave the glass here for you." Sandy set the glass down on the bedside table.

"You know, kid, drinking isn't the best way to deal with your problems."

Ryan didn't realize he had problems to be drinking away. "Yeah, I ..." Ryan tried to force the words out, but even he could hear they weren't much more than a mumble.

"We don't need to talk about it now. But we will talk about it." Sandy patted him on the leg. "I think you could use some more sleep, huh?"

Ryan moaned gratefully and closed his eyes again. He tried to remember what happened the night before because he couldn't remember coming home. He remembered drinking rum and coke with Luke. He remembered being with Emily – she was pretty cute, maybe he would call her. He vaguely remembered being mad at Jeff and then – did he push Seth? Did that really happen? Everything turned into a blur. He was down the beach in the dark and maybe Summer was sitting with him. And he might have been crying. This was why he stayed away from hard liquor – it had the potential to be a messy drunk night. He wished he could remember what he was upset about. And how he got home.

He fell back asleep, not looking forward to a lecture on why not to drink so much, dreading seeing Sandy again. Unless he brought more water. More water would be good.

The next time Ryan woke up, his head wasn't quite so sore, and he could actually manage to sit up. He put on his slippers and shuffled his way into the main house. No one was in the kitchen so he didn't have to worry about talking to anyone right away. He was craving greasy food, so he rummaged through the fridge for some bacon and eggs.

He had just finished cooking the bacon and was dropping the eggs in to fry them in the bacon fat when Seth shuffled in, looking just as rumpled as Ryan felt. He sat down at the island.

Ryan gestured to the frying pan. "You want some?"

Seth shook his head. "No, man. How can you even think about eating that stuff? I wasn't near as drunk as you were, and the thought of food makes my stomach turn right now."

"If you were drunk too, how'd we get home? I vaguely remember giving you the keys, but..."

"Summer was the responsible one last night. She thought it was great you were drunk and stayed sober so she could drive."

Ryan slid the fried eggs onto the plate with the bacon and some buttered toast. He sat down next to Seth and glanced at him from the corner of his eyes. "Did I hit you last night? I sort of remember you falling on the sand, and my knuckles are bruised..."

"No, you just nudged me and I lost my balance. Your knuckles probably match the bruises on Jeff's face."

"I hit Jeff? Do you know why?"

"Luke said Jeff was being his usual idiotic self and you just blew up. You don't remember?"

Ryan shook his head. "Most of the night's a blur."

"You were pretty upset by the end of it. You'd only talk to Summer. If Luke or I went near you, you'd yell at us to get away and get even more upset."

Ryan ran his hand over his face. This is why he didn't like to drink. Alcohol made people do things they wouldn't do sober. "Sorry, man. I don't know what happened."

They both heard the front door close. "Well, you better think of something, because Dad's really not happy."

"You've talked to him already?"

"Just last night when we got home. I haven't felt the full wrath yet."

Sandy walked into the kitchen. "Oh good, you're both here. It'll save me the trouble of giving a lecture twice." He rested his hands on the counter and stared at them. "What were you two thinking?"

Seth jumped in first. "It was graduation, Dad. What did you think we were going to do out all night?"

"I was hoping you weren't going to drink yourselves unconscious."

Seth opened his mouth to protest that technically he wasn't unconscious, but he didn't think that would go over well.

"How old are you?" Sandy asked.

"Eighteen."

Sandy looked at Ryan, who was staring at his plate and hadn't looked up since Sandy started. He waited for Ryan to answer.

"Seventeen."

"In the state of California, the legal drinking age is twenty-one. Which neither of you are."

"Oh, Dad, you're not going to argue the legalities of it, are you? You're the one who defended Grandpa last year and you know what he did was wrong."

"Don't even start, Seth. This is completely different. And when you have your own place that you are paying for yourself, you can do what you want. Until then, both of you are our responsibility and we call the shots.

"So, what can we do with you two? We discussed it all morning, debating how we can show you that we are seriously disappointed in both of you. Your mother came up with an idea that I wholeheartedly agreed with. So, the car we ordered for graduation for you two that was supposed to delivered today? We cancelled it. We'll have it delivered in the fall when you go to college, but you won't have it for the summer."

"Dad, that is so unfair! Why couldn't you just ground us or something?"

"We thought about grounding you, but we thought you were getting too old to be grounded."

"We're not to old to be grounded. Are we, Ryan?"

Ryan just shrugged.

Sandy considered this. "OK. If you want to be grounded, you're both grounded for two weeks. No going anywhere other than work for two weeks."

Seth gave a sigh of relief. "So we can get the car?"

Sandy smirked. "Oh no. I already told you – we cancelled that. No car for the summer and no going out for two weeks."

"Dad! How can you do this to us?"

"I'm not doing it to you. You did it to yourselves. You need to re-earn our trust – show us that you are responsible enough to have a car of your own. Because your behaviour last night were not responsible. Not at all."

"We were responsible. We gave the keys to Summer and she didn't drink so she could drive home. I can't believe you're taking the car away." Seth glanced at Ryan, who hadn't looked up since Sandy started talking. "Some of us were more irresponsible than others."

Ryan stole a glance at Seth, then looked back down.

"Seth, don't try to shift the blame. I was here when you got home last night. I talked to you. I know just how drunk you were. You were more than one or two beer drunk, and that's unacceptable."

Seth dropped his head. He was muttering to himself about the unfairness, but he knew better than to argue any more with his dad. He realized if he kept arguing, they'd end up grounded for a month.

"All right, why don't you go and take a shower? You'll feel better." Both boys started to stand up. "I want to talk to Ryan." Ryan sat back down and pushed his plate away.

Sandy sat down in the seat Seth had just vacated. "So." He glanced over at Ryan. "Big day yesterday, huh?"

Ryan shrugged.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Ryan continued to stare at his hands. "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me what going on in your head. How you're feeling."

"I'm fine. A little hung-over, maybe..."

"Ryan." Sandy turned to face him and put his hand on his shoulder. "I talked to Seth last night, and Summer this morning..."

"Summer?"

"She called. She was worried about you."

Ryan turned to face Sandy. "Look. I was drunk. Which I shouldn't have been. But I was. And people do and say stuff when they're drunk that they don't mean."

"Ryan..."

"Sandy, maybe somewhere deep inside me, I am upset about my mom. But here, on the surface, where I function and can think about it, I'm not. I meant what I said yesterday. You guys have given me an awesome opportunity. I see how it could have been - how it should have been – with my mom."

Ryan looked up as Kirsten walked into the room. She noticed them sitting, talking earnestly. "Should I...?" She gestured back toward the door.

Ryan waved his hand. "No, that's OK. I was just telling Sandy – it sucks that my mom's the way she is. But I can't change that. The baseline of hurt is always there. But this way, I avoid the big spikes of hurt that she causes whenever I see her or talk to her. Last night was just the last big spike?"

Kirsten leaned back against the counter and brought her hand to her mouth. "Oh, sweetie..."

"No, Kirsten, it's just..." He sighed. "It's just the way it is. It's just my life. I can't change what's happened. But I can control whether I let her hurt me again. More."

Kirsten smiled at him. "OK."

Ryan nodded and started to stand up. Kirsten dropped her smile. "But I don't ever want to see either of you boys come home that drunk again."

Ryan ducked his head. "Sorry." He turned to Sandy. "I know I'm grounded, but can I use the phone? I think I have some people I need to apologize to about last night."

He turned to Ryan. "Sure, you can use the phone."

Ryan cleared his plate to the sink and then left the kitchen for the pool house.

"Grounded?" Kirsten walked toward Sandy and put her arms around him. "I thought we agreed on the car?"

Sandy looked contrite. "We did. I just got a little heady with power earlier."

"They lost the car and they're grounded?"

Sandy nodded. "Too much?"

Kirsten grinned. "Nah, it'll make them think twice next time. And you know there will be a next time."

THE END


End file.
